How-to: Make the World’s Worst Website (So You Never Do…)

Written on 29 February, 2016 by Shounak Gupte
Categories Blog

In today’s blog post, we’re going to look at how to create the worst website ever, in an attempt to ensure you never do. We also thought it would be a bit of laugh to look at some of the worst website design debacles the world’s budding designers have produced to date. From too much advertising, terrible text, typos and more, we’ll unveil the formula for a website that turns visitors away in droves, causing leads and sales to spiral down at a monumental rate. If you were planning on incorporating any of these elements into your latest website makeover – yeah, chuck a few typos in for good measure, why not? – we urge you read this post first.

Even the most striking of designs won’t save a site from the detrimental effects of terrible text. In order for your customers to access the information they desire, your text must be clear. Terrible text isn’t as straight forward as it sounds. Yes, in some cases it is as simple as a horrible choice in font. However, sometimes other elements come into play too. Sometimes it’s a case of the text not working with the overall colour scheme or design, or the placement of the text. Sometimes it is even the content itself, but we’ll get into that later.

How does one avoid falling victim the dreaded and feared terrible text? This first point is essential: you must have eyes. Not to trivialise the common website gaff, every so often you stumble upon a website with text so blatantly bad, sometimes even barely legible, that it makes you wonder. Additionally, follow your gut. If you have to squint, turn your head sideways or question whether something reads easily, there’s probably an issue. Still not sure? Though that should reveal all, you can always consult an expert (over here, over here!) or an indifferent third party. Just don’t ask for too many opinions as you may lose, will probably lose, the overall vision completely. Too many fingers in the pie etc.

Nonetheless, for the purpose of this blog post, if your end game is to produce the world’s word website the first step is terrible text upon a colour scheme which makes it near impossible to make out. But, why stop there? Let’s get your text mobile, moving across, up and down the page – why the hell not, right? Let the visitor’s confusion, squints and dizziness be your applause. If you’re feeling overly zealous, we recommend drawing inspiration from circa 90s PowerPoint designs, after all, Miss Frizzle from ninth grade was a huge fan.

Add to the mix some typos, e.g. ‘Theze r da pr0ducs W3 offa…’, and sprinkle a generous assortment of advertisements across your website, including an obscure weight loss fad, a gossip site, a questionable money loaning company and so forth. Perfect. To be clear, no free space should be without an ad for full effect. Furthermore, it’s not just your text that can be moving but your images too, the possibilities are honestly endless.

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